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[SW Column] (  MOHAMUD SIAD TOGANE ) SNATCHING DEFEAT OUT OF THE JAWS OF VICTORY : Posted on [2 Feb 2002]

Opinions expressed in this column are those of the contributors and not necessarily those of SW.

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SNATCHING DEFEAT OUT OF THE JAWS OF VICTORY

MOHAMUD SIAD TOGANE  togane@earthlink.net

 

According to a Habar Gidir friend of mine

the nineties had been the decade of the Il-jex!

In the Nineties

Somalis were divided

into two categories,

into two classes,

into two clans,

into two groups,

into two major tribes,

into two teams :

winners and losers;

or

to put it in clannish terms--

those lucky enough

to have been born

Habar Gidir

and

those who wish they were

lucky enough!

And

right now of all people,

in an epic movie called

"BLACK HAWK DOWN,"

it is the Americans

and

their Hollywood

who have decided

to celebrate

the bravery,

the boldness,

the panache,

the badness,

the honor,

the valor,

the orneriness,

the cursed cussedness,

the fearless heroism,

the incredible pride

of the Habar Gidir,

of their hard cruel and cockeyed eyes

that never blink,

come hell or high water;

and

their utter contempt for death

when they were fighting for a just Somali cause.

The Americans had no business trying

to decide

for Somalis

for Somalia

who was going to rule them

how they were going to rule themselves.

The Habar Gidir heroes taught

dumb Yankee Doodle Dandy

a lesson he will never forget!

That lesson is called

the Somali syndrome

or

the Mogadishu Line-

that is the line the Habar Gidir lions drew

in the hot Somali sand

daring the dumb Americans to cross!

When they did,

not only did Gidir kick their fat American asses

out of Somalia;

Gidir also dragged

their naked hairy honky heinie

in the dirt

in the back alleys of Mogadishu

in broad day light

on

ABC,

BBC,

CBC,

CNN,

CBS,

PBS-

ON LARRY KING LIVE!

with the whole world watching

agog at Mog!

Hollywood in cahoots with the Pentagon made the film

BLACK HAWK DOWN

so that America

can snatch at least

a smidgen,

a modicum

of the appearance

of guts and glory and patriotic gore

if not the full flavor,

at least a whiff

of the perception

of victory

out of the jaws

of the abject defeat they were dealt

in Mogadishu

at the hands of the young Habar Gidir lions.

But it is all in vain;

everybody knows what happened;

regardless of how you spin it,

as the book BLACK HAWK DOWN clearly and cogently chronicles it;

as Keith Richburg's book

OUT OF AMERICA

bears witness to it

the Americans came to Mog

spoiling for a fight,

ready to rock

ready to roll

ready to kick ass;

but instead

not only were their white asses

kicked and whipped

by rude and rough black Habar Gidir boys,

their honky naked white asses

were also dragged down the dusty streets of Mogadishu

for all the world to watch!

It was not a withdrawal

or

a retreat;

it was a rout!

When Richburg used the word

"retreat"

to describe the ignoble American defeat,

the "U.S. commander,

Maj. Gen. Thomas Montgomery,

was so angry he refused my request

for a final interview."

Talk about being graceless gutless sore losers!

When it comes to being sore losers,

There is nobody like the Yankees!

So unlike the British,

their cousins

who have class!

Who know

when they are defeated!

Who never tried

like the Yankees

to make a silk purse

out of the abject defeat of a sow's ear!

Kipling,

the poet of British Imperialism,

celebrated the courage of their enemy, "

FUZZY-WUZZY", thus:

"We've fought with many men acrost the seas,

An' some of 'em was brave an' some was not;

The Paythan an' the Zulu an' Burmese;

But the Fuzzy was the finest o' the lot. . So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy .

You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin man;

An' 'ere to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, with you 'ayrick 'ead of 'air-

You big black boundin' beggar---

for you broke a British square!"

Fuzzy-Wuzzy

who more than frightened off the British

was from the Sudan;

our Somali Fuzzy-Wuzzy

is

the Habar Gidir!

And

when it comes to fighting

he is indeed the finest of the lot

and

a first class fighting man!

The Habar Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy

broke the American square,

broke the Yankee pride,

broke the American face

by spitting in its ugly imperialistic mug!

broke the American fighting spirit!

Habar Gidir heroes

ran the Americans,

the UN,

the Darod out of Mogadishu

and humbled and humiliated

every Somali clan!

Our Somali Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy

is even more zealous

in the pursuit of war

than even the storied Zulu!

What do the Habar Gidir want?

What are they after?

What have they been fighting for?

What have they been dying for?

According to Keith Richburg

"the Habar Gidir think

it is their turn

to rule Somalia."

I say

let them rule Somalia;

let them rule us;

why not?

Are they not Somalis?

But I doubt

that they really want

to rule Somalia:

Ali Khaleef Galayrd,

the best expert at legitimization,

at legitimation,

tried his best

to legitimize,

to legitimate,

to facilitate Gidir rule in Somalia---

to no avail!

With a Harvard Kennedyesque accent,

Galayrd was about to win

legitimacy,

Legitimation

legitimization

from the American government

for the Habar Gidir Arta regime in Mogadishu,

when Ina Salad Boy

yanked the rug from under Galayrd's feet

ordering him

out of power

out of Hutu Hawiye Mogadishu

and

back to dirty Darodland!

Back to Las Anod!

Alas!

That is

when bad SALAD BOY began

to dig his own political grave

and

doomed his chance forever

of ever being embraced,

of ever being accepted by the Americans!

That fact alone made it crystal clear

to me

to the rest of the thinking world

that Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy

ain't interested

in ruling Somalia!

All that the Habar Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy

want to do

is

Bililiqsie!

Snatch!

Snatch this house!

Snatch that farm!

Snatch that purse!

Snatch Merca!

Snatch Barave!

Snatch Mog

Snatch the snatch of that nubile woman!

Until finally

now when we are all helplessly watching

in disbelief

as the Habar Gidir Fuzz-Wuzzy

are busy snatching abject defeat

out of their glorious and great Somali victory

over arrogant arrant American racism!

Well,

Keith Richburg observes:

"In Africa things stay the same

until they fall apart!"

that is exactly what is happening

to the Habar Gidir;

slowly but surely

they are on their way out!

Whereas before they were one united powerful juggernaut

that bulldozed out

and plowed under

anything

or

anybody

that stood in their blind way

to their nirvana of Bililiqsi;

now they are weak

they are divided against each other

with Hussein Aideed

well ensconced

in villa Somalia

with a wife from the Cayr,

with another wife from his own Sa'ad,

with yet another wife from the Salayman,

with yet another wife from the Duthuble!

But even this politics of his generous penis,

this politics of the greedy lusty goat,

the politics of the young Sa'ad lion and his Habar Gidir pride,

even these political marriages of convenience failed

to glue Habar Gidir unity together.

All that Osman caato

His rival

his nemesis

cares about

is,

all that he is preoccupied with

is:

how can I enjoy

all this wealth

all this Somali national patrimony

I have looted

with impunity!

And apparently

Ina Salad Boy

never had it so good!

This Mexican stand-off;

this status quo

suits him and his cronies just fine!

So it is just a matter of time

before the decline and the fall of our Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy

really sets it

really bottoms out,

before things begin to fly apart

and then Habar Gidir will be reduced

to an ordinary

to a normal Somali clan

like the Murusade,

like the Majerten!

As relevant

or

as irrelevant

to Somali politics

as the Omar Mahmud!

Their rivals,

their cousins

their neighbors!

For 15 minutes,

on the world stage

in the book and the film "Black Hawk Down"

the Habar Gidir proved Farah Gololay wrong:

it is the Majerten

who are 5 minutes to Habar Gidir!

Just like the Marehan and the Majerten

whimpered,

whining out of sight,

out of sound,

humbled,

humiliated,

thrown off their high horse

of the pornography of Somali power,

so will the Habar Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy

whimper and whine,

humbled and humiliated

tumbling right now

in front of our eyes

off the high horse

of the of pornography of Somali power!

That is the way things end up in our Somalia;

no need to demonize the Habar Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy:

there is no Somali clan

better

or

worse

than the Habar Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy:

all Somalis are now Habar Gidir Fuzzy-Wuzzy!

Again as that astute black American writer,

Keith Richburg noted:

"There aren't good guys,

just varying gradations of evil"

and ill-jex in our Somalia!

Or

to borrow the words of V. S. Naipaul,

the Nobel laureate in literature in his

"In a Free State",

for this dark occasion,

for this not so dandy occasion,

for this silly

for this sad

for this Somali occasion---

"They say

there's good and bad everywhere.

There's no good and bad here.

They're just Africans."

They're just Habar Gidir!

They're just Il-jex!

They're just silly sad Somalis!

 

MOHAMUD SIAD TOGANE

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