THE PHENOMENON CALLED AL-HAJJI MUDANE MUSSE SOODI YELLAHOW
They laughed!
The Darod laughed!
I wonder what made the Darod laugh?
The Darod laughed
because for the first time
in their life they heard a voice and a vision
with an Abgal accent that they had all pretended
in all their life never existed!
They heard that!!
accent, that voice,
enunciating a vision that they had never expected
to hear, of all places, on the BBC!
They heard the voice and the vision of the !!
Abgal accented
and announced and enunciated by one called Yelahow
on the BBC!
And the Darod could
not help but laugh!
After all, as they say, laughter is the best medicine!
Let them laugh!
The poor Darod devils! If laughing will make it
any easier for them to swallow their bitter medicine
along with their false pride that caused
their disgrace and downfall!
The Darod laughed because they heard
the bitter truth and they could not believe
their own ears!
They heard the rude and the rough voice of the Abgal!
A rude and a rough voice that doesn’t mince words;
that doesn’t know what Darod deceit is,
what Darod decorumis, what Darod devilomacy is!
They heard the rude and the rough voice
of Abgal justice and of Abgal righteousness
laced with the humor of the Abgal plain candor!
On the BBC!
They heard the Abgal truth and they could not believe
their own ears!
The Darod are still in shock and in disbelief!
They are in deep denial for deep in the heart
of every Darod is buried, is lodged the faith
that one day soon they shall all return
to Mogadishu to lord it once again
over the hapless Hawiye!
They are laughing now, asking themselves,
“Was that really the voice of the Abgal,
the voice of Yelahow on the BBC telling us
to get lost and stay lost in exile forever;
reminding us how we were humbled;
how we were humiliated;
how we were chased out of Mogadishu; reminding us
of the hour of our dishonor,the hour of our disgrace,
and the hour of our most bitter defeat!
Was that really the voice of the Abgal tortoise
torturing us once again by teaching us once again
the most bitter of lessons we would really like
to forget by shedding crocodile tears
for the Somalia of yesteryear which we the Darod
have destroyed!
Was that really the Abgal voice on the BBC reminding us
once again how we had lost Xamar Cadde!
Robbing us once again !
!
of our hope of ever
returning to Mogadishu in triumph and once again
taming and ruling the unruly Hutu Hawiye!
Tolbeylai!
Where is the power
that was once Darod?
Where is the glory
that was once called Darod?
Where is our Mogadishu
where once our Darod farts
were sweeter than
the perfume of all of Arabia?
Our Mogadishu
where Dafle and our other Dhulbahante heroes
of MOD Darod revolution used
to jail & torture
the Hutu Hawiye
locking them up in containers
and throwing the key away into the Indian Ocean!
How did the power &
how did the glory
of the Darod
pass on
to the horrible
Habar Kintir Hawiye
and Abgal donkey drivers
who have banished us now
from Mogadishu forever?”
For the first time
and on the BBC,
throughout the world,
the deceitful &
the demented Darod
heard the truth from the Abgal!
From the Honorable
Al-hajji Mudane Musse Soode Yelahow
which is:
Give up
your pipedreams of
ever setting foot once again
in Hawiye territory
to misrule us
and mismanage
the wealth of the Somali race!
For the last fifty years
we the Abgal
had been chanting,
O Darod,
move away from my land!
And I don’t give a fuck
Whether you swim or take a boat!
Twelve years ago
the Darod and their Papa Doc Afwayne
!
were defeated
and driven
by force
from Mogadishu
and from all Hawiye territory!
Some fled by foot!
Some fled by tanks!
Some fled by Russian Migs!
Some fled by cars!
Some fled by lorries!
Some fled by trucks!
Some fled by land
cruisers!
Some fled by hitchhiking!
Some fled by boats!
Some tried swimming and
forgot how to swim !
!
and drowned!
On the beaches of Mombassa,
their Darod dead bodies
washed and beached laden
with the American dollars
that they had stolen
from the Somali national treasury!
On the BBC
Mudane Musse Soode Yelahow
reminded the Darod
of this ignoble defeat,
of this dreadful disgrace
that they had brought upon themselves
by abusing
and misusing
the humanity of the Hawiye
for the last hundred years!
He reminded the Darod
what they are:
a defeated
and a disgraced dreadful lot
whose role has been reduced
to being vassals of the Hawiye!
He reminded their Darod leader,
their current Darod hero,
General Abdulllahi Yusuf,
what he is:
the punk of Puntland
who should not try to wear shoes
that he can’t fill!
Rer Mahad and their mad General
are no match for
the moriyan of the Hawiye!
Beware of the wrath
of the patient Abgal!
In Mogadishu,
the Punk of Puntland
is nothing but a dirty Darod
who turned tail like the coward he is!
Not only
has Mudane Musse Soode
dashed the wild
and the wicked dreams & designs
of the Darod,
he has also put
the Habar Gidir (who are a day late and a dollar
s!
!
hort; who are nothing but five minutes to their killing cousins,
the Dirty Darod)
in their proper place
by reminding the world
and the Americans
in particular
that the world
is united right now
to fight the world wide menace
known in Arabic,
as Al-qaaida
and in English
as terrorism
and in Somali
as Habar Kintir!
Mudane Al-hajji Musse Soode Yellahow
tells it like it is!
He calls them
as he sees them!
His voice is Abgal!
His vision is vital
to the healing of the Somali nation!
His message is the naked truth
that will lead the Somalination
to peace & reconciliation!
You say,
the Darod don’t like it,
so what?
If they don’t like it,
the Darod can lump it!
You say, the Darod are laughing
even though they are not amused,
so what?
What can the Darod do but laugh?
The Darod dog is dead!
The days of Darod are done!
The days of the Darod are gone!
This is a new day!
And
Al-Hajji Mudane Musse Soode Yellahow
is the new kid,
the new voice,
the new vision,
on the block,
on the BBC,
on everywhere!
!
!
This Hajji is hot to trot!
The Darod are dead
and cold
and old!
The Darod are as dead
as the dodo!
Long live
the new vibrant voice
and the brand new Abgal vision
of Mudane Musse
which is for every clan
to be content
containing itself
in its natural habitat!
You don’t hear any Abgal
moaning and pining away
for Bossasso!
I advice the dirty Darod
to laugh more
but give up
their fatal dear Darod delusion
of ever returning to Wardheeglay
to feast
on Abgal Moofo
& Maraq
& Moxog
& Massago
& Wambe!
No!
There is no Somali dream,
it was brutally murdered
by a dirty Darod
called Afwayne!
Now
it is every man
for himself
and for his crazy clan!
As Mudane Farah Gololay
once succinctly said,
“If you hear someone whispering,
whimpering the mantra, Somaliyay,
it is a dastardly Darod
who has dreams &
designs on power,
on pelf,
on bililiqsi,
on lording it
over all of us Somalis!”
Dear Darod,
remember this:
Once bitten twice shy!
And don’t you ever forget it!
And if you do,
don’t worry,
for you
and your kind
we have
Al-hajji Mudane Musse Soode Yellahow
who will remind you
on the BBC
in Toronto and
in Timbuktu too!